This might seem very hard to believe and i know a lot of you look up to me as this amazing artist,
but i feel like i have been completely dishonest with all of you for way too long. For a while now
i was trying to be like a certain artist who some of you may know. Someone who's hard works
were something that i always admired, and yet i've took advantage of. I'm talking about none other then vaporotem!
If some of you have seen her latest post on Tumblr then you might of known by now, but i think
it's time i told you thru my own words. I truth is YES i did use some of her old art to make some of
mine. I took body parts, copied expressions and even claimed her old style as my own. I see now
that what i've done was completely inexcusable and i should of used my inspirations to make
my own style instead of using someone else's.
The same thing also happened back in like 2015 as well. I used some of her pictures to make
my art until i realized that this wasn't an okay thing to do, so i stopped and got rid of those
pictures. All seemed good, until i was pulled back into doing this again in the late 2016. It was
an addiction that i didn't want to get out of, and in the process i've hurt those who supported
me and the artist who i pretended to be. Deep down i knew i was gonna get caught and i
knew that i was gonna disappoint so many people.
You know most of those newer characters that i made. Well what if i told you that they are not
entirely made by me? That some of their traits and appearances were "borrowed" from Vap if
you been around her art. Pretty messed up, i know, but to tell you the truth i actually like
drawing some of my raccoons and i think my baby dragons are kind of cute, but i know most
of them were ripped off from her characters and i don't want anyone to think that that's just
what they are whenever i draw them. I want to gradually change them anyway i can, like
appearance, colors, clothing, make more new characters how i want them to be. Whatever it
takes to make them unique. Maybe if i can turn those characters that i copied into something
more original with their very own personalities and own interests then maybe i can be
confident enough to not use other's characters.
This has happened with some of my fannon characters.Sometimes whenever i draw i get stuck, i feel intimidated, i draw the same body part or
expression until i get it right, but sometimes i never can so i take short cuts instead.
When i do get it right however i would usually question whether it's good or not. That's
kind of why you don't see a lot of my old work in my scrap page. But i guess that's how
every artist struggles with huh.
I always had this idea in the back of my head that i'd try mixing up styles to create my own.
That's probably what i've should of been doing instead of just taking someone else's.
I shouldn't let insincerities take advantage of me, especially when i'm very social IRL.
I need to find other ways to help me draw. Maybe when i have the time to think i'll try
to picture my next drawing and write down my ideas in a note book, like when i'm walking
outside, taking a shower or sleeping, and when i do get stuck i'll step away from my computer
screen and do something active until i do think of something instead of just sitting around
streaking my hair figuring out what to draw.
I think the other reason as to why i did this is because i wanted to give myself a
personality/image, something that others would know about and recognize. Just so people
would think i'm fun to be around and who would want to look up to me just like Vap. I've put on
a persona for so long when i should be letting people know who i really am. It's about time
i tear down this image that is so obviously her's. After doing some thinking i realized that i
know who i really am. I am not Vap, or her personality, or her style. I love soft colors,
healthy foods, watching cartoons, riding on scooters, wearing cute clothes, fluffy things,
parties, stockings, plush toys, eating donuts and so many other things.
That includes drawing too.
The worst part for me was that i had to keep hiding from her so she wouldn't know who
i was and what i've been doing right from under her.
I don't want anyone to think of me of nothing but a copier because believe or not
i actually can draw. Most of my art even shows it. I have my own creations, i have
my own characters and i even had my own style, but still i kept taking from her.
An artist who i admired since before i had a DA account. An artist who's colorful and
cartoon-ish style were something that i looked up to and wanted to be like.
(not in a literal since neither)
I left a big scar on my gallery but i'll try to fix it for the better as time goes on.
The only thing i can really do now is to stop being like her and try drawing something
from my own mind like i did before all this. It might be tough, but i don't want to go back
into doing this again.
I should have never tried to deceived the people who were so kind to me and my art.
I know all of you deserve better then that. I hope i can be able to gain your trust as an artist
sooner or later. I mean i just became a legal adult last year so i think it's time i actually be
a better role model and stop going around back stabbing others.
I want to be that great artist that everyone knows i can be.
And i'll try to delete those pictures that i so foolishly copied. I might have to make some
changes to some of my other arts as well.
Starting with my recent picture.
I guess i wasn't too clear on what i said here. Yes, I did took parts of her work without
anyone knowing and some of you probably think me and my art are a complete fake,
but to tell you the truth i actually do like making funny comics and colorful/expressive art.
I even like making my newer characters as well. Cartoons and colors were always
something that i admired WAY before the internet.
Their may have been a few bad apples on here but the rest were made by my own free will.
Vap and many other artists were just inspirational boosts.
I should have learned to separate inspiration with ripping off and i make art because i know
i can, not because someone else can. I learned now that inspiration should always come
before imitation, and that i should of put some of my work/characters into a
developing stage before posting them to the world. Like how every cartoonist does
when they create their shows, which is something that i always want to do someday.
Hope i didn't cause too much confusion.